“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.” This phrase is so popular, right? Why is Jack a dull boy? Why does he NEED to play? The answer is simple- We need someone at every stage in our life. We need interaction and conversation. We all know that human beings are social creatures and all this necessity stems from that evolutionary instinct we have to interact. From the birth of mankind, we have thrived in communities, tribes, families, etc. These forms of relationships are not cultural, they are survival mechanisms. Whether we’re aware of it or not, our emotional, mental, and even physical health is deeply tied to the quality of our relationships and social environment. Together, we hunted, gathered, protected, created. Connection was how we stayed alive — and even now, in modern times, it’s how we continue to thrive.

SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME…

Since time immemorial, we have craved and invented new ways to connect and grow with more people. From the birth of languages itself to today’s advanced technology, we find ways to bridge the distances and stay in touch across borders and generations. All of this is rooted in a one and only desire: the desire TO SHARE. TO BE SEEN. TO BELONG.

In today’s world, we have reached incredible heights. We have come so far from waiting weeks and months to read a letter from a loved one; now we can reach out to them at the click of a mere button. However, in the midst of all this connection, something fascinatingly haunting has happened- we are more connected than ever, but most of us feel deeply alone. 

The reason is that technology can enhance communication but it can’t replace the authenticity of an actual conversation. A double tap of a photo, unfortunately, isn’t the same as telling someone how beautiful they are and seeing them glow upon hearing those words. ‘Following’ somebody is not the same as making a new friend. 

THE SOCIAL THREAD THAT SHAPES US

From the moment we are born, we begin to learn by observing others around us. A baby’s first smile is almost always to another face. A child learns how to speak only by listening and to walk by following. The people we are attached to in the beginning- our family, our teachers, our caregivers- shape how we perceive ourselves and the world around us.

As we grow older, socialisation becomes more complex but not any less important. 

In childhood, we play, we learn to share, to forgive and to trust. In adolescence, we explore ourselves by surrounding ourselves with all-consuming friendships and shared experiences. In adulthood, we juggle work, relationships, friendships and family. This expands our social circle and we learn to build boundaries, networks and find emotional anchors in people. Finally, in older age, socialisation becomes a vital pillar in keeping us healthy. Companionship offers comfort, community provides meaning, and relationships protect against loneliness and cognitive decline.

At every stage, we are shaped- and reshaped- by the people of our lives.

THE STEALTH SWORD OF ISOLATION

When we find ourselves isolated and alone- not by choice but by circumstance or avoidance- we fail to recognize how the effects run deeper than we could ever imagine. Loneliness is not just a feeling; it is a condition that can affect our mind and body.

Extended periods of social isolation have been linked to increased rates of anxiety, depression, heart disease and lowered immunity. Some studies even show that ‘chronic loneliness is as bad for our health as smoking fifteen cigarettes a day’ (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2010).

As humans, we weren’t built to be islands! We may need time alone now and again, but in full disconnection, we slowly lose our emotional resilience. However, in a fast-paced world where burnout is a badge of honor, and hustle culture praises independence, isolation creeps in unnoticed.

BUT WAIT… I AM ONLINE, ISN’T THAT ENOUGH?

It’s easy to confuse an online presence with being connected. Social media does offer us a small dopamine hit with a constant stream of updates, check-ins and notifications. But real relationships take time, presence and effort.

We can scroll for hours and still not be seen. We could have thousands of followers and feel like no one truly knows us. True connection cannot be filled by likes or shares. True connection takes time spent in each other’s physical presence, shared vulnerability, opening up to one another and mutual trust.

And that’s not to say that technology or social media is the enemy. It is also a bridge and can maintain long-distance friendships, help in finding like-minded communities or access support groups. This online connection should not, however, be mistaken to replace the real thing.

BUILDING A CONNECTION IN A DISCONNECTED WORLD

So how do we reconnect- not just with others but with our NEED for others?

It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. Often, the smallest step will lead us to the biggest doors. 

• Calling someone you miss and having a real conversation!
• Saying yes to an invite you would typically pass up!
• Joining a club, a class or a cause that means something to you.
• Initiating a conversation- even if it’s just with a neighbor or a co-worker
• Being the one to reach out first, even if it feels awkward initially.

We don’t necessarily need a big circle; just a few people with whom we can be our real self. We can choose the people we want to grow with!

And let’s remember, that connection isn’t about losing ourselves. Healthy socialisation has boundaries and self-identity. We can- and must- have some space or alone-time as well. We can protect our energy and still belong to something bigger than us!

CONCLUSION

Belonging is not a privilege: it is a NEED. Emotional safety, mental toughness and resilience develop in communities. We want to be understood. We want to be held- sometimes in silence, sometimes in laughter and sometimes in pain.

YOU deserve people who show up for you.

YOU deserve friendships that make space for your amazingly bright light and the dark shadows behind it.

YOU deserve to be known.

Take comfort in knowing that somewhere in this world, someone is yearning to find a person JUST LIKE YOU!